I was going to blog about my July 4th weekend but then I figured y'all didn't want to hear about my mom asking me tons of questions about my dad's finances (which I know nothing about, nor do I really want to know) or about visiting my dying aunt and how sad that was or about my dad's completely unnecessary and rude comment to me on Sunday when he had us over for dinner or about how his girlfriend told me I'm fat (but in the nicest way possible - ahem. She actually said to me "my mom was a large woman too but she had beautiful hands just like you do" and my sister-in-law almost spit her coffee out when she said it).
So instead I've been quiet all week because I've done very little for the past week other than work and teach a painting class or two and contemplate the complete dysfunction of my family. And just this morning I made the mistake of thinking to myself, "I really wish I had something to blog about". It was a mistake because then I did something worth blogging about. At least it's worth it to me but perhaps you'll read the remainder of this post and think I really should not have blogged about this either. Too bad.
Around 1:20, I decided to go down to the cafe in my building to get something to eat for lunch (even though I was told 4 days ago by my dad's girlfriend that I'm fat). One of my co-workers goes down with me sometimes and she decided to join me. There is a very long spiral staircase leading down to the cafe from the lobby level of our building (I would guess it's close to 40 steps) and my co-worker says it makes her nervous so she always takes the elevator. I always take the stairs. You can see where this is leading, right?
About half-way down, my left foot slipped on the edge of a step and I fell on my ass with a thud and then proceeded to bounce down about 6 or 7 (concrete) steps. As I was falling, I tried to catch myself on the handrail with my right hand so my right thumb began throbbing, and I twisted my left ankle, and landed with my left hand flat on the ground which caused my left wrist to immediately begin throbbing. I yelled "FUCK!" kind of loudly when it happened but no one heard me or saw me fall.
It is now almost 4 hours later. My ass feels like someone beat me. My right knee is throbbing. My left ankle is killing me. My left wrist still hurts and the entire left side of my back is hurting pretty bad. And I feel like my upper left thigh is bruised even though it didn't hit anything at all. About 10 minutes ago, I happened to notice the toenail on my freshly pedicured foot (yes, as usual there were weird people in the nail salon with me on Monday night) was almost torn off halfway down my toe. I decided to go ahead and rip it off and there is a good bit of dried up blood under it. I guess everything else was hurting so much worse earlier that I didn't even notice my toe was bleeding.
When I returned to my desk, I could not really sit down without wanting to scream so I decided to stand up. At my desk. While typing documents. I look like an idiot all bent over while standing and typing. Our firm does not provide printers for the attorneys so if they don't buy their own printer for their office, they all have to print at one of the staff members' printers. That means that I have 5 attorneys who are constantly in and out of my office getting documents off the printer. Also, I have one of the few scanners at my desk so I have even more people than that coming in here all day to scan. (Annoying much? Why yes. Yes it is.) All three of my bosses have brought me work and come in multiple times to retrieve their printed documents. Not one person has asked me if I'm okay or why I'm standing at my desk bent over typing and grimacing in pain. Of course they know that I have crazy stuff happen to me all of the time so they might simply be too afraid to ask what's wrong with me.
So instead I've been quiet all week because I've done very little for the past week other than work and teach a painting class or two and contemplate the complete dysfunction of my family. And just this morning I made the mistake of thinking to myself, "I really wish I had something to blog about". It was a mistake because then I did something worth blogging about. At least it's worth it to me but perhaps you'll read the remainder of this post and think I really should not have blogged about this either. Too bad.
Around 1:20, I decided to go down to the cafe in my building to get something to eat for lunch (even though I was told 4 days ago by my dad's girlfriend that I'm fat). One of my co-workers goes down with me sometimes and she decided to join me. There is a very long spiral staircase leading down to the cafe from the lobby level of our building (I would guess it's close to 40 steps) and my co-worker says it makes her nervous so she always takes the elevator. I always take the stairs. You can see where this is leading, right?
About half-way down, my left foot slipped on the edge of a step and I fell on my ass with a thud and then proceeded to bounce down about 6 or 7 (concrete) steps. As I was falling, I tried to catch myself on the handrail with my right hand so my right thumb began throbbing, and I twisted my left ankle, and landed with my left hand flat on the ground which caused my left wrist to immediately begin throbbing. I yelled "FUCK!" kind of loudly when it happened but no one heard me or saw me fall.
It is now almost 4 hours later. My ass feels like someone beat me. My right knee is throbbing. My left ankle is killing me. My left wrist still hurts and the entire left side of my back is hurting pretty bad. And I feel like my upper left thigh is bruised even though it didn't hit anything at all. About 10 minutes ago, I happened to notice the toenail on my freshly pedicured foot (yes, as usual there were weird people in the nail salon with me on Monday night) was almost torn off halfway down my toe. I decided to go ahead and rip it off and there is a good bit of dried up blood under it. I guess everything else was hurting so much worse earlier that I didn't even notice my toe was bleeding.
When I returned to my desk, I could not really sit down without wanting to scream so I decided to stand up. At my desk. While typing documents. I look like an idiot all bent over while standing and typing. Our firm does not provide printers for the attorneys so if they don't buy their own printer for their office, they all have to print at one of the staff members' printers. That means that I have 5 attorneys who are constantly in and out of my office getting documents off the printer. Also, I have one of the few scanners at my desk so I have even more people than that coming in here all day to scan. (Annoying much? Why yes. Yes it is.) All three of my bosses have brought me work and come in multiple times to retrieve their printed documents. Not one person has asked me if I'm okay or why I'm standing at my desk bent over typing and grimacing in pain. Of course they know that I have crazy stuff happen to me all of the time so they might simply be too afraid to ask what's wrong with me.
In other news, I have 3 more weekends full of family events (and no doubt plenty of family drama) and I've informed my mom that after the weekend of July 25, I do not care to see any of them for quite a few weeks because I need a break. She laughed so I had to inform her that it's not a joke. That I need a break. Since I've had at least one family event every single weekend since Mother's Day I don't think it's asking too much to request a break, do y'all? Also, I have jury duty on August 6. This is the 5th time I've been summoned for jury duty in the past 8 or 9 years. Does this seem excessive to anyone else? And in case you need a gross out factor (you know, if my bloody toe wasn't enough) I got home at 11:30 last night after teaching a painting class to discover the "Largest Hairball in the History of the Universe" had been hacked up by Bailey. On my bed. Which means I slept on the sofa last night while my sheets were being washed (several times). It was approximately 4 inches long and very thick in diameter. I couldn't even be mad at her because I knew she must have been feeling pretty gross before getting rid of that thing. I just wish she had jumped down on the hardwood floor to make my job a lot easier. You're all very welcome for sharing that piece of news.
5 comments:
Oh, I'm so sorry. I fell on my bike last November through my own stupidity (I'd like to blame it on someone else because it really would make me feel better, but it was my own damn fault) and broke my hand and the entire time my wrist was in a cast, I was the grumpiest person on the planet.
I work at a place with these incredibly slippery marble staircases and no elevator. I have nightmares pretty regularly about falling down them. So. Now that you've actually fallen down the stairs, I can pretend that it happened to me and stop having the dreams?
Feel better soon!!
Oh my gosh, I am so sorry! I stand a lot at my desk to type, if my back is acting up, and no one ever asks either.
I really hope you're feeling better soon. And maybe start taking the elevator after all. :-(
My office has a standing desk we're not using. Want to come get it? I had a very high maintenance coworker for a while who insisted she needed to stand all day to avoid reactivating a back injury. What do you know--we got her the standing desk and she still tried to sue my company for a supposedly work-related injury to her back. Sigh. And now I'm thinking her injury was probably from something like falling down stairs. Strangely, I'd almost feel for her more if that were the case...
I hope you're feeling better soon!
Ouch!
I definitely think you're due for a break from your family.
Hairballs are gross, but, if it makes you feel any better, they're a whole lot less gross than a 90-pound dog's diarrhea. (Pudge had a little tummy upset last week. Not on my bed, thank god.)
Oh, man, I cringed when I read about the toenail. OUCH! I fell down some stairs 2 years ago and strained my back. I was having a very accident prone few months. In a short space of time, I broke some ribs, strained my back, and then broke my left elbow, all in different incidences.
Maria in Oregon
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