Next week is my older brother's birthday. Because his birthday is during the week, we're celebrating this coming Saturday night over dinner. Since I worked at the studio Monday night, I'm teaching a class at the studio tonight, I have dinner plans with a friend of mine tomorrow night, I'm teaching Friday night, and I'm teaching during the day on Saturday, I had to go shopping for his birthday gift last night after work. (I'm tired just thinking about my week, much less actually getting through it - and I'm supposed to drive to Birmingham, AL and back on Sunday for a studio event over there. Ack!)
Anyway, enough about me and my insane schedule and back to the topic at hand.....my brother's birthday gift. I spoke with my sister-in-law over the weekend and she told me the thing he needs most in the world is clothes. He needs everything. Pants, dress shirts, golf shirts, socks, shoes, etc. I told her quite bluntly that I will not buy him any underwear. I have my boundaries after all, and buying new underwear for my soon-to-be 45-year-old brother falls way outside those boundaries.
She then told me he would probably get the most use out of new golf shirts. Which, if I'm being honest here, makes me yawn with the boredom. Blah. Golf shirts. But if that's what he really needs, then that's what I should get him. I never have any clue what to get my brother so I was kind of glad just to be given a suggestion.
I work less than 2 blocks from one of the largest malls in the Southeast. But I hate going to the mall and this particular mall is normally priced higher than the other ones around Atlanta. I figured I could go to the mall and spend $50 and get one name brand golf shirt, or I could go somewhere else and probably get two or three for the same price. And I could throw in some socks. Because golf shirt shopping is not exciting enough, you see. I wanted to shop for men's socks too and really live life on the wild side on a Tuesday night.
I'm fortunate to live about three or four blocks from a fairly new shopping center so I decided to go there so I would be close to my house when I finished. I knew I would need to get home quickly to rest after the adrenaline rush of buying golf shirts and men's socks.
I went to a store which shall remain nameless, but it rhymes with BJ Maxx. My eyes were not prepared for something I saw in the men's section of BJ Maxx y'all. One of the employees should be posted in the men's section for their entire shift with the sole responsibility of warning customers to PUT THEIR SUNGLASSES ON FOR THE LOVE OF GOD when they walk around the corner and see this, uhm, suit:
Anyway, enough about me and my insane schedule and back to the topic at hand.....my brother's birthday gift. I spoke with my sister-in-law over the weekend and she told me the thing he needs most in the world is clothes. He needs everything. Pants, dress shirts, golf shirts, socks, shoes, etc. I told her quite bluntly that I will not buy him any underwear. I have my boundaries after all, and buying new underwear for my soon-to-be 45-year-old brother falls way outside those boundaries.
She then told me he would probably get the most use out of new golf shirts. Which, if I'm being honest here, makes me yawn with the boredom. Blah. Golf shirts. But if that's what he really needs, then that's what I should get him. I never have any clue what to get my brother so I was kind of glad just to be given a suggestion.
I work less than 2 blocks from one of the largest malls in the Southeast. But I hate going to the mall and this particular mall is normally priced higher than the other ones around Atlanta. I figured I could go to the mall and spend $50 and get one name brand golf shirt, or I could go somewhere else and probably get two or three for the same price. And I could throw in some socks. Because golf shirt shopping is not exciting enough, you see. I wanted to shop for men's socks too and really live life on the wild side on a Tuesday night.
I'm fortunate to live about three or four blocks from a fairly new shopping center so I decided to go there so I would be close to my house when I finished. I knew I would need to get home quickly to rest after the adrenaline rush of buying golf shirts and men's socks.
I went to a store which shall remain nameless, but it rhymes with BJ Maxx. My eyes were not prepared for something I saw in the men's section of BJ Maxx y'all. One of the employees should be posted in the men's section for their entire shift with the sole responsibility of warning customers to PUT THEIR SUNGLASSES ON FOR THE LOVE OF GOD when they walk around the corner and see this, uhm, suit:
Here is a cropped photo so that you can fully appreciate the incredibly masculine pattern AND the citrus green lining:
You should be able to click on the photos to enlarge them, if any of you are brave enough to look at a larger photo. My eyes are permanently damaged because I saw it in full size and in person. I actually had to touch it too in order to hang it so that I could take a picture for y'all. I make such sacrifices and take such risks to come up with blog posts for you to read. I hope you appreciate it. The rough fabric sanded my palms.
I looked at the price tag because I'm a thoughtful blogger and I knew each of you would want to know. The "compare to" price was, ahem, three HUNDRED dollars. But it was (shockingly) on clearance and it could be yours for a mere $69. I forgot to check the size, but if anyone wants it, send me the cash and I would be more than happy to go snag it for you. It could be altered to fit the hunk of burnin' love in your life. You better hurry though! Something like this might be gone already.
12 comments:
HAHAHAHAHAHA.
Things like this amaze me. Not only does some one have to come up with this idea. I'm sure several people have to approve the fabric, style, etc. Then people have to buy the materials and other people have to assemble them.
Why didn't anyone speak up during that whole drawn out process?
Oh my gosh. When I worked at Nordstrom, our expression for things like that was "oh no...another buyer lost to the crack dens of New York". Seriously, everyone involved in this needs to have the pipe pulled out of their hands.
You could use that suit to golf and hunt in. Practical that BJ MAXX.
Oh my. That is what the girls at Go Fug Yourself call a "scrolldown fug." At first, I thought it was merely a vibrantly patterned button-up shirt. Ill-advised, sure, but perhaps (maybe? maybe?) workable on the right person. And then I realized it was a SUIT. No. No no no no no. No. Oh my.
So...You didn't get it for your brother? :p
Were you even tempted to get it as a gift for your brother? (With a gift receipt, of course, for easey exchange. Hee.)
My husband has been talking about buying a new suit...
That suit looks really familiar to me. I'm afraid to think too much about why that might be.
This reminds me of Atlanta, so much.
I am trying to just picture someone wearing this...LOL!
Visiting your blog for the first time today. Thanks for raising awareness on autism on your blog. I love your consciousness.
I have sheets like that that I bought for my daughter 30 years ago because she LOVED them. She was six! LOL Perahps they would have sold you just the jacket :)
Post a Comment