I've been interviewed. Again!

Oh internets, I'm sorry I haven't posted in a week. I can't even claim that I've been busier than usual. But even so, I am behind on my entire life right now. And I've been spending the majority of my free time this past week sitting around and worrying about something that I don't actually have any control over which, while I realize is a totally useless and stupid way to spend my time, I can't seem to stop. The truth is, I'm very worried about Hot Brazilian and I've been checking my email non-stop all week. I've written before that we are communicating strictly via our computers while he's in Brazil. We email and we talk on Skype. Brazil is full of small villages and towns which do not have widespread and easily obtainable internet service. He's been in such a place for the past few weeks working on some business deal. The last time we talked on Skype was January 14. Due to our crazy schedules and the time difference, we did not have an opportunity to talk for the next few days and then he left his hometown where he is staying, to travel to a little town with hard-to-find internet service. He managed to send me an email on January 23 and it said he was planning to be back in his hometown by the 28th or the 31st and we would be able to communicate more regularly. I haven't heard from him since and I'm thinking the most awful thoughts as to why it is now February 5th and he's not back in his hometown. I know him so well and I'm sure there is a very logical reason (i.e., he's had nothing but problems with his laptop since he got down there, he is a free-spirit of sorts and changes his plans on a whim, and it's very likely that he decided to stay longer and simply hasn't had access to internet service). But I'm a worrier by nature so I've been sitting around worrying about him instead of watching annoying Bikini Girl get booted off American Idol. I went to the studio one night to get my mind off of it (painting is always an escape for me) and I'm going to the studio tonight as well. I'm teaching a class tomorrow (of a crazy painting - I'll have to post a picture of it for y'all) so at least I'll have a few hours over the weekend to not worry.

A couple of posts back, I answered some interview questions from 3C's. She also interviewed Stefanie, and Stefanie offered to interview people. Although I had already participated in this, I asked Stefanie to go ahead and interview me again so that I would have something to post about other than proving to y'all that I'm an insane worrier. Also, WLotus asked me to interview her and she has posted her answers on her blog. Even if you don't want to go see what I asked her about, you should absolutely visit her blog to see her gorgeous photographs and read her posts. Her blog makes me think. A lot.

Here are Stefanie's questions and my answers for her. I'm only about two days behind on doing this.....

1. I asked another of my interviewees this question, too, but it's one I like, so I shall ask it again. What's the best decision you've ever made? (Or, alternately, what is the worst?)

By far the best decision I've ever made was to go ahead and meet Hot Brazilian. Your next question is about how I met him so I'll go into further detail in my response to that question.

As far as the worst decision I've ever made, it was one of those decisions that was one of the worst ones AND one of the best ones I've ever made. It was the decision to marry my ex-husband despite the fact that I had red flags flapping so hard in my face that they almost knocked me on my ass. It was the worst decision because after seven or eight years together, he turned into an alcoholic and had a bit of a drug problem, he was bi-polar and would go for days and days without speaking one word to me, he stomped my self-esteem into the ground, he treated me like crap, he made me cry on an almost daily basis, and basically made me one of the most miserable people on earth. When things ended, we had been together for 10 years and I was an empty shell of a person. It was one of the best decisions I made because it taught me more about myself than I may have ever learned in any other way. It also showed me that I am very strong, that I can pick myself back up from some really bad shit, I can take care of myself, and that I kind of rock.

2. This is a rerun as well, but ask me if I care. (I do not!) I like hearing people's "How we met" stories. How did you and the Hot Brazilian meet?

For a year after my divorce, I claimed it as "me time" and decided I would not enter into any sort of serious relationship. I had a lot of work to do on myself and I knew it wasn't fair to anyone for me to try a serious relationship immediately. I did find myself in a non-serious, long distance relationship with a musician who is 15 years older than me and he did more for my self-esteem in that year than I can ever try to describe. We are still friends to this day. I eventually decided to stick my toes back in the dating pool and tried me-marmony. I hated it. I took another break from dating and then decided to try catch.mom. I met one guy and dated him for about 6 months. Turns out, he was really weird but I had tried to overlook that fact because I wanted to be in a relationship so badly. Eventually, I could not handle the weirdness anymore and we ended things. I then dated another guy for about 9 months. The timing was not exactly right because of things going on his life and we ended things. He now calls me and keeps saying he can't seem to meet anyone like me and he regrets ending things with me. Oh well.

After that relationship ended, I went out on a lot of first dates from catch.mom. A lot of horrible, horrible first dates (I could probably write several months of posts on these crappy dates alone). I reached the point where I was worn out from it. I couldn't stand the thought of even one more date so I canceled my membership about two weeks before it was going to end so that it wouldn't automatically be renewed and my credit card wouldn't be charged again. About a week before my membership ended, HB sent me a wink. I read his profile and did not like one single thing about him. He, quite honestly, sounded like a total ass and I didn't think there was any chance on earth that I would get along with him. But there was something kind in his eyes in the photo he had posted (and the fact that he was a cutie pie didn't hurt either). And so I decided to go out on one last date as a kind of last hurrah, I suppose. I agreed to meet him for a cup of coffee at Barnes and Noble on a Saturday afternoon. We did not talk on the phone prior to our first date which was something I had never agreed to do before. That morning I was kicking myself for agreeing to meet him. I absolutely did not want to go. About 30 minutes before I was to meet him, I threw on some khakis and a shirt, slapped on some makeup and left my house knowing I looked like crap. He was about 10 minutes late and I thought about leaving before he got there. Then he walked in and I knew immediately I was glad I was there. He was about 6'4", but he was a gentle giant. His voice was soothing. We ordered our drinks, found a table and sat and talked for over 3 hours. I didn't want the afternoon to end. Eventually, he had to leave so we walked out in the parking lot. He gave me a huge hug and that sealed the deal for me (he gives awsome hugs). He asked if he could see me again the following weekend, I said yes (obviously) and we've now been dating for almost 2.5 years and we're planning to get married.

3. Say you have the opportunity to travel anywhere you want, whenever you want (on someone else's dime). The only catch is you will never again be allowed to return to your home state. Do you go for it?

No. While I would love to live somewhere else eventually, I've lived in Georgia for every single one of my 40 years and I can't imagine never being able to return here. Sure, it has plenty of faults, but I will always be a Georgia girl at heart.

4. What was the first movie you ever saw in a theater? Have you seen it since then?

Gosh Stefanie, I'm old. I have to think waaaay back. I'm not entirely sure it's the very first movie I saw in a theater, but it's my earliest memory of one so I'll go with it. The earliest memory I have is of seeing Disney's Song of the South. Ever heard of it? It is a racist movie, but the movie was made back in the mid 40's, I was born in the late 60's in the South and sadly, that is the kind of stuff around at the time. It was part live-action and part animated. It is about the tales of Uncle Remus, Br'er Rabbit, etc. written by Joel Chandler Harris. I don't recall seeing the movie ever again, but the Wren's Nest, Joel Chandler Harris' home, is here in Atlanta and we used to go there when we were kids for tours and stuff. I haven't been in at least 25 or 30 years.

5. What book do you think every one of us should read? Why?

Yikes! This is hard. My first answer is The Bible. But you probably want something besides that since it's an easy answer. I can't pick just one more. I'm going to name a few.

To Kill a Mockingbird because it teaches tolerance. I've seen a lot of things change here in the South since I was a child, and yes, there is still a lot of racism down here. It makes me sick. I hate to admit it, but I have some family members that I consider racist. I think everyone should read this book and try to be a lot more like Atticus Finch.

Eat, Pray, Love (and I'm sure some of you are shaking your fist at me right now). I know many people can't stand this book for a variety of reasons. I loved it. I read it when it first came out and I cried like a baby all the way through the beginning. She managed to put into words better than any other book I've ever read, what it's like to feel trapped in a miserable marriage. I read this book just before I met Hot Brazilian and it gave me hope that I was going to find my "happily ever after" and I kind of needed that at the time. This book stays by my bed and I often pick it up, flip it open to a random page, and I always get something out of what I read.

When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chodron. Pema Chodron is a Bhuddist nun. My younger brother gifted this book to me when I was going through a particularly rough time. I've read it many times over the past several years as I quickly realized this book is not just for the difficult times. It teaches you to let go of things and face your fears and troubles in daily life as well as the more challenging times we sometimes go through. Maybe I need to re-read it this weekend and stop worrying so much about HB, huh?